However, when I decide to check out which milestones are coming soon, I get all excited about the next steps. Then, of course, I read what he should already be doing at this stage, and I think, "Well, he'll get there. Every child is different. It's OK." Sometimes Nick starts to worry that he's not reaching milestones, and I scoff at him. I even feel annoyed that he would worry about it.
And then doubt creeps in. It's one thing to read about baby averages, and another to talk to other parents with kids of similar ages who can do all that. The parents are not in any way intending to make me feel bad, and I am genuinely interested in their lives. But it does give me this feeling that I must be doing something wrong. I mean, of course I think Owen is capable. So I must have held him back somehow.
I don't think Owen has to be the best and the brightest, and I don't feel competitive with other parents. In fact, I've always felt that I wanted him to learn, but also spend time just being a silly kid. I don't want to push him too hard (as I believe I will have a tendency to do).
Sigh. I do know that in the long run, he will figure things out and be just fine. Why I can't seem to let go of the worry and guilt that I'm not doing enough to help him achieve, I can't figure out. I think secretly, inside, I believe he's probably a genius and I just need to get this parenting thing right. :)
In any case, right now he's very happy. He's been sleeping through the night for about a week, and laughing more often. He's started to knowingly grab things within his reach, and he seems to study both people and objects much more intently. He loves to stand and jump and kick.
I don't think we're anywhere near rolling over just yet. He still sleeps almost exclusively in his swing, so we're working on transitioning back to the crib. He likes the more upright position for sleep rather than the swinging motion itself, so hopefully that will make things a little easier. Ugh...sleep training.
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| Day in the park with Mom & Dad |
Well, yes--he is a genius. That is a given. ;) It is so easy to get caught in the "Mommy War" of comparisons, but you know what? He is Owen and he is just perfect in his own way. Milestones are just guidelines to make us freak out. Try not to worry about what he isn't doing and celebrate what he does amazingly well already. I know, easier said than done. ;) Leah didn't sit by herself until 9 mo, crawled at 14 months, and walked at 22.5 months. In some ways it was easier because I could set her down and not worry about her moving! :) By age two she was all caught up on her "milestones" and look at her now. Budding gymnast and killer softball player (well, we'll see how the first season goes). And Anna is like the shoemaker's kid who has no shoes. Se is the speech therapist's kid who can't talk (much). But I know it will come and until then we try to interpret as best we can. Or try to guess what she wants through a series of pantomimes until she finally gives up and face palms like, "You idiots, I know exactly what I want". You guys are doing a great job and Owen is spectacular.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right, and I really do know that. It's funny how quickly Mom Guilt sets in. That's definitely a part of motherhood I didn't see coming. Luckily, I've found that fellow Moms are quick to offer support and share similar stories. I'll take advice from the Kristyn Mostek playbook of parenting any day! :)
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