Spring is here!

The weeks seem to be going quickly now, which is sometimes nice and sometimes not. We've had a lot of beautiful weather (sorry family in the Midwest) and some pretty memorable family time. No big events planned, just nice days. Both Nick and I are playing softball again, but we've cut back the number of teams. Owen has seen Daddy play, but hasn't quite been awake enough to see Momma play. Maybe next week...

We've been taking him to the park and putting him in the Bjorn while we do (sorely needed) weekend chores. I think our house has definitely started to show the effects of my going back to work. Nick and I have both been as good as we can be about keeping up with the general chores of each day, but the bigger picture chores such as vacuuming and bathroom cleaning might have slipped...significantly. I'm pretty sure the cats have created enough tumbleweeds in the corners of our house to qualify as an entirely new cat. Nevertheless, Owen was fascinated by "daddy chores" while Nick mowed the lawn and picked weeds. Gender roles aside, Nick and I have developed a system for getting things done and it works for us. 

In other news, we've made huge strides in the sleep department. We did some sleep training over a weekend and Owen has been in his crib and happy for over a week now. We're pretty excited! He's been a pretty good sleeper for the past month, but now he's transitioned back to his crib. He loves it and I think is excited about the new freedom he has. When I go to pick him up in the morning, he's worked his way to the opposite end of the crib and has turned 180 degrees. He seems quite content in there for a little while after he wakes in the morning, so it gives me an extra few minutes to get the day started.

He's also officially off his acid reflux medication! Very exciting. It's nice to not have to wake him to give him medicine, or time his feedings to work with the medication schedule. One more notch of freedom for all of us, and it's wonderful. 

More laughs, growing taller, talking more, reaching, grabbing, kicking...in writing it seems like a report of the same stuff, but in person it always seems different. He does things with more intent and purpose, and seems to discover new things in old things. His hair has started to grow back in the bald(ing) spots, and it looks like it's going to come in much lighter than the hair he has. 

Photo update from the past couple weeks:

Daycare disaster #327: Momma forgot to pack extra clothes
(but other Moms remembered)

Saturday morning story time for Owen...and Newton

Spring has sprung! Baby ducks in our favorite park

Chubby cheeks

Owen: Four months

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Official stats: 14lbs., 14 oz. (somewhere in the 50th percentile)

25.5" tall (somewhere in the 75th percentile)

HUGE head (somewhere in the 90th percentile)

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Poor kid. No wonder he's not rolling over.

"It's like an orange on a toothpick." 

"It has its own weather system." 

"I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik." 

---Mike Myers, So I Married an Axe Murderer

All kidding aside, somehow he's still the cutest darn kid I've ever seen. He smiles at everyone (especially the ladies) and eats like a horse. I picked him up from daycare on Friday and he really started "talking" to me with real purpose. It was so cool. We sat there and talked to each other for a while, and then he retold the story to Nick when he came home. It's not that it happened overnight, and yet, it almost did. He had been making sounds and sort of cooing, but recently it seems he's really telling us something. And wants us to understand. He holds eye contact and just babbles. It's one of my favorite memories so far.

Over the weekend we had a lot of great family time, and Owen was such a trooper as we rushed to various events. Saturday was beautiful and we strolled the shops in Walnut Creek. We had a few gifts to purchase and just spent the rest of the day meandering.

Sunday we had quite the marathon of celebrations: First, a two-year-old's birthday party. We drove out to a place called "Little Farm" in the Berkeley hills. I've always wanted to go, and it was really a fun place for kids. We fed celery to various farm animals, and Owen seemed calm yet interested. When we went through a small sheltered part of the farm, I'm not sure if his eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet from the brightness of the day, but he was instantly alarmed. He calmed quickly when we were back outside, and we went on to feed cows, ducks, goats, and sheep. There were also a lot of other kids to watch.

After Little Farm, we headed to our first A's baseball game--in box seats! I was grateful that we wouldn't have to deal with the wind and sun, and he sat and watched a few innings. Sadly the A's played a terrible game, and he fell asleep by the time it was over. (I was almost jealous). However, Nick and I were able to spend some time with our good friends which made it all worth it.

Go A's!

Taking Away My "Mom" Card

I've had this thought a lot lately. It's funny since Owen is doing so well; thriving, even. Each day when I go to pick him up at daycare, he's learned something new. Or maybe I notice he's studying something extra hard that he didn't seem to notice before. It's such a fascinating process, and it sometimes makes me sad that I'm missing so much. Then again, maybe some of this progress can be attributed to being around other kids and experiencing new things at daycare.

However, when I decide to check out which milestones are coming soon, I get all excited about the next steps. Then, of course, I read what he should already be doing at this stage, and I think, "Well, he'll get there. Every child is different. It's OK." Sometimes Nick starts to worry that he's not reaching milestones, and I scoff at him. I even feel annoyed that he would worry about it.

And then doubt creeps in. It's one thing to read about baby averages, and another to talk to other parents with kids of similar ages who can do all that. The parents are not in any way intending to make me feel bad, and I am genuinely interested in their lives. But it does give me this feeling that I must be doing something wrong. I mean, of course I think Owen is capable. So I must have held him back somehow.

I don't think Owen has to be the best and the brightest, and I don't feel competitive with other parents. In fact, I've always felt that I wanted him to learn, but also spend time just being a silly kid. I don't want to push him too hard (as I believe I will have a tendency to do).

Sigh. I do know that in the long run, he will figure things out and be just fine. Why I can't seem to let go of the worry and guilt that I'm not doing enough to help him achieve, I can't figure out. I think secretly, inside, I believe he's probably a genius and I just need to get this parenting thing right. :)

In any case, right now he's very happy. He's been sleeping through the night for about a week, and laughing more often. He's started to knowingly grab things within his reach, and he seems to study both people and objects much more intently. He loves to stand and jump and kick.

I don't think we're anywhere near rolling over just yet. He still sleeps almost exclusively in his swing, so we're working on transitioning back to the crib. He likes the more upright position for sleep rather than the swinging motion itself, so hopefully that will make things a little easier. Ugh...sleep training.

Day in the park with Mom & Dad

Back to Work

It's amazing how quickly things can become your new normal. I've been back to work for almost 2 weeks and life just seems to be happening right now. I have to be incredibly organized in order to get everyone and everything where they need to be.

Work feels good. I've been able to pick back up where I left off and it's so great to be able to soak up all this creative energy. I work with the most amazing group of people, and they have been so supportive of my new motherhood status. I have a new temporary "corner office" so I can keep up with my pump schedule, and everyone encourages me to gush all about Owen. It's nice.

I do miss him so much, and I get teary-eyed sometimes when I think about him. Nevertheless, he seems to be doing really well in daycare. Every time I pick him up, I hear, "He's such a smiley baby." He loves watching the other kids, and I think the other toddler girls are eager to "help" with all things baby. There's no lack of attention coming his way, of that I am certain.

Nick has been in Chile for the past week so Owen and I have been working through our new routine on our own. I was absolutely terrified of how this week would go, and it's definitely been challenging. It hasn't been as bad as I imagined, but I've definitely felt pretty exhausted. I'll be so glad to have Nick home again, and I know being away from Owen has been rough on him too. I sent a lot of video and photos to keep him updated, and here's a snippet of Owen on Easter.

He'll grow into it; Thanks, Daddy!