Mostekspecting: Welcome Baby Owen!

It's been a long while since my last post, but we've been very busy getting to know our new little man. He's such a great little person, and both Nick and I are enjoying these new moments. These weeks have not been without challenges, but I still feel we're among the lucky. I can't get enough of him. Here's a "quick" recap of the last few weeks:

37 weeks

Mom and me

Anxious to meet our son!

December 11, 2012
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The day had finally arrived! My mom was here, and we were finally on our way to the hospital to meet our new little bug. I still wasn't nervous about the c-section, but a lot nervous about whether the spinal would take or whether I'd have to be put under general anesthesia. And then the inescapable jitters of actually becoming a mom. Wow.

The c-section was scheduled for 12:30 p.m., and we were all prepped and ready on time. The spinal worked just fine, so I was able to at least be awake to hear my baby's first cries. Of course, I couldn't see anything, but Nick peeked over just as he was born. The difficult part of being awake is that I could only hear him; I couldn't see him at all while they were working on me and cleaning Owen. After hearing him, I cried out of relief, and after a while Nick and the doctors brought him over to me. He is so...amazing. Almost as soon as he was laid in my arms, we snapped a quick photo and he had to be taken to the recovery room while they were finishing up with me. I was wheeled into my recovery room to wait for the numbness to wear off, which takes 1-2 hours or so. For what felt like an eternity, I focused really hard on making my toes move just so I could go see him again. Owen needed a bit of care to make sure his lungs were clear and able to work on their own. That was the hardest part: the waiting! Mom was able to be with me while I had to wait (Nick was with Owen), and it helped with the anxiousness I felt.

Finally, I was able to lift both legs and I was cleared to go to the postpartum room. Owen was also cleared from his recovery room and they brought him to me on the way. Finally! I got to actually hold him, all bundled and warm. Yep. Fell in love. I really hoped for that feeling, as I'm sure most mothers do. Although I felt a connection to him during pregnancy, I wondered if I was capable of feeling the "magic" or if it would take a bit to feel that connection. Magic all around. Magic coming out of our ears. It was so great.

Gramma Lamos

Official stats:
Owen Daniel Mostek: The name Daniel comes from Grampa Daniel Mostek
Born at 1:14 p.m., December 11, 2012
Height: 21 inches
Weight: 7 lbs., 4 oz.

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Our time in the hospital went pretty quickly, and by the third day I was ready to go home. I recovered quickly from the surgery, and seemed to surprise a lot of nurses that I was ready to go home a day early. Owen was also doing pretty well, though he had lost a lot of weight since birth (which is normal) but he was nearing the "too much weight loss" amount. When we left, he was 6 lbs. 8 oz., so we planned to feed him every two hours, which usually meant waking him up to eat.

Our biggest struggle has been with breastfeeding. It's just something that is really important to me, and I say that without judgement on any other methods of feeding--formula or breast milk. I've been to a few lactation specialists and they all confirmed that Owen is doing everything right. From the outside, everything looked good, but Owen was losing more weight and looking jaundice. The pediatrician suggested we supplement with formula to get his weight back up since we had been struggling with my milk production. After an incredibly emotional and exhausting couple weeks, we're finally starting to accept the fact that I am not capable of producing enough milk to keep him fed. Owen was working so hard to get milk from me, and pretty much exhausted himself and burned too many calories to gain weight. After a full 24 hours of formula feeding, Owen's weight finally picked up.

I started to research low milk production and found that PCOS (in some cases) causes low breast milk production. I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) before getting pregnant, which made actually getting pregnant fairly difficult. I had no idea this also affected breast milk production. After meeting with several different doctors and specialists, I finally had someone confirm that I did indeed have a legitimate reason for low production. Right now, I'm still trying to pump 7-8 times a day, and maybe can get enough breast milk for one to two full feedings each day. I can't talk about it much yet without getting emotional. It's hard not to feel inadequate and guilty for just not being enough. True, I'm battling some serious postpartum hormones, but it's also hard to watch the worry in everyone else's eyes when Owen just isn't gaining weight. And it's hard to see him struggle so much for something as simple as food. I hate that I can't give him that, but I'm working on the guilt.

Now we're nearing the three week old mark, and it's been quite a journey already. Owen is a wonderful baby, and I absolutely can't get enough of him. I'm pretty excited about enjoying the holidays with just the three of us, and we'll have more Gramma and Grampa visits after the new year.

And the big question: who does Owen look like? I don't see much April, but I do see a little Nick--especially in the hairline. Nick sees his dad. Here's a few favorite photos. Hope you all had a great holiday season, and happy new year!