Welcome Baby Owen!

It's been a long while since my last post, but we've been very busy getting to know our new little man. He's such a great little person, and both Nick and I are enjoying these new moments. These weeks have not been without challenges, but I still feel we're among the lucky. I can't get enough of him. Here's a "quick" recap of the last few weeks:

37 weeks

Mom and me

Anxious to meet our son!

December 11, 2012
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The day had finally arrived! My mom was here, and we were finally on our way to the hospital to meet our new little bug. I still wasn't nervous about the c-section, but a lot nervous about whether the spinal would take or whether I'd have to be put under general anesthesia. And then the inescapable jitters of actually becoming a mom. Wow.

The c-section was scheduled for 12:30 p.m., and we were all prepped and ready on time. The spinal worked just fine, so I was able to at least be awake to hear my baby's first cries. Of course, I couldn't see anything, but Nick peeked over just as he was born. The difficult part of being awake is that I could only hear him; I couldn't see him at all while they were working on me and cleaning Owen. After hearing him, I cried out of relief, and after a while Nick and the doctors brought him over to me. He is so...amazing. Almost as soon as he was laid in my arms, we snapped a quick photo and he had to be taken to the recovery room while they were finishing up with me. I was wheeled into my recovery room to wait for the numbness to wear off, which takes 1-2 hours or so. For what felt like an eternity, I focused really hard on making my toes move just so I could go see him again. Owen needed a bit of care to make sure his lungs were clear and able to work on their own. That was the hardest part: the waiting! Mom was able to be with me while I had to wait (Nick was with Owen), and it helped with the anxiousness I felt.

Finally, I was able to lift both legs and I was cleared to go to the postpartum room. Owen was also cleared from his recovery room and they brought him to me on the way. Finally! I got to actually hold him, all bundled and warm. Yep. Fell in love. I really hoped for that feeling, as I'm sure most mothers do. Although I felt a connection to him during pregnancy, I wondered if I was capable of feeling the "magic" or if it would take a bit to feel that connection. Magic all around. Magic coming out of our ears. It was so great.

Gramma Lamos

Official stats:
Owen Daniel Mostek: The name Daniel comes from Grampa Daniel Mostek
Born at 1:14 p.m., December 11, 2012
Height: 21 inches
Weight: 7 lbs., 4 oz.

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Our time in the hospital went pretty quickly, and by the third day I was ready to go home. I recovered quickly from the surgery, and seemed to surprise a lot of nurses that I was ready to go home a day early.  Owen was also doing pretty well, though he had lost a lot of weight since birth (which is normal) but he was nearing the "too much weight loss" amount. When we left, he was 6 lbs. 8 oz., so we planned to feed him every two hours, which usually meant waking him up to eat.

Our biggest struggle has been with breastfeeding. It's just something that is really important to me, and I say that without judgement on any other methods of feeding--formula or breast milk. I've been to a few lactation specialists and they all confirmed that Owen is doing everything right. From the outside, everything looked good, but Owen was losing more weight and looking jaundice. The pediatrician suggested we supplement with formula to get his weight back up since we had been struggling with my milk production. After an incredibly emotional and exhausting couple weeks, we're finally starting to accept the fact that I am not capable of producing enough milk to keep him fed. Owen was working so hard to get milk from me, and pretty much exhausted himself and burned too many calories to gain weight. After a full 24 hours of formula feeding, Owen's weight finally picked up.

I started to research low milk production and found that PCOS (in some cases) causes low breast milk production. I was diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) before getting pregnant, which made actually getting pregnant fairly difficult. I had no idea this also affected breast milk production. After meeting with several different doctors and specialists, I finally had someone confirm that I did indeed have a legitimate reason for low production. Right now, I'm still trying to pump 7-8 times a day, and maybe can get enough breast milk for one to two full feedings each day. I can't talk about it much yet without getting emotional. It's hard not to feel inadequate and guilty for just not being enough. True, I'm battling some serious postpartum hormones, but it's also hard to watch the worry in everyone else's eyes when Owen just isn't gaining weight. And it's hard to see him struggle so much for something as simple as food. I hate that I can't give him that, but I'm working on the guilt.

Now we're nearing the three week old mark, and it's been quite a journey already. Owen is a wonderful baby, and I absolutely can't get enough of him. I'm pretty excited about enjoying the holidays with just the three of us, and we'll have more Gramma and Grampa visits after the new year.

And the big question: who does Owen look like? I don't see much April, but I do see a little Nick--especially in the hairline. Nick sees his dad. Here's a few favorite photos. Hope you all had a great holiday season, and happy new year!

Happy Holidays!

The cats seem to have accepted this arrangement.

Imagine his surprise when we decided not to return him. :)

And now he's a "legit" father.

Will he play softball? Maybe.

Newton is continually fascinated with Owen. So far, they're friends.

Going to see the doctor! He was much less excited on the way back.

Thanks for the gifts, but I'd rather stare at this sparkly bow.

New booties from Aunt Glenda!

We all practice "tummy time" but some of us like it better than others.

First outing. Owen didn't see much, but I think he enjoyed it.

Resemblance? Maybe.

My personal favorite Facebook post. I can't stop laughing at this set of photos.

36 weeks-one week to go!

36 weeks

Well, here we are in the last week before baby arrives. I've been feeling the pressures of nesting pretty hardcore and made a 3-page list just to ease my mind. I've always been fond of lists anyway, so this was bound to happen. The cars are clean; fridge, floors, and house have had a pretty thorough scrubbing. Progress is being made! This weekend will be a shopping extravaganza to get a few final necessities, and Mom arrives on Sunday!

It's hard to think of much else this week, but both Nick and I are keeping busy to pass the time. Last weekend we went to see the Oakland Children's Christmas Parade with Jes and Bob and their son, Colin. Although the rain has been pretty crazy the past few days, we decided to risk it for a few hours. It was a little chilly, but no rain (at least while we were there). The parade was really good, but the highlight was definitely the Storm Troopers. I think this was an actual club of some sort which made it all the funnier. I'm considering joining if it means I get to wear a legit Star Wars costume. I'd want to be a Storm Trooper, or maybe one of the Emperor's Royal Guard--you know, the red guys? The parade lacked any of those guys. I've found my niche. I could geek out on SW all day. :)

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

"Red 2, standing by."

"Aren't you a little short to be a Storm Trooper?"

Jes, Bob and Colin: December in Oakland!

On Tuesday I had my work shower. I really do work with the most creative and fantastic group of people. I can't help but use superlatives; I'm pretty lucky to enjoy the work that I do and the people I work with every day. I would have loved to share some photos of the other people at the shower, but it seems the only photos that were taken are just me. And apparently I'm a bit of a freak show. Seeing these photos is like hearing my own voice on a recording. Inevitably I ask, "Do I really sound/act like that?" Ah well. I am a woman of many expressions, and a bit of a cheese. Here's just a few of the cool gifts I received:

C&T Publishing shower

Today I had my final 36 week ultrasound. No changes with the placenta, and everything else looks right on track. He was really active today, and it was fun to see him moving on screen to match the feeling in my belly. He measured just over 7 lbs., so he's getting pretty big for only 36 weeks! I was able to see a little bit of hair on his head, and I watched him play with his hands and maneuver his legs. Even his cheeks look a little pudgy. Photo decoding: baby face in the top two: profile on the bottom two, along with his arm and hand. The white spikey along the top of his head is hair! Pretty cool.

36 week ultrasound

I have my pre-op appointment with the doctor this afternoon, and I wrap up my last day of work tomorrow. Next stop: motherhood.

33-34 weeks

33 weeks

It seems like so much has happened in the past couple weeks. Last week I finally had my 34 week ultrasound, which I expected to be my last. He measured around 6 lbs. this time! Nice progress, little man. The placenta is still sitting there, just where I left it last time. Cesarean still on! Apparently, just to make triple sure that I will definitely be placenta previa, I have yet another ultrasound scheduled for 36 weeks. This week, I had another appointment with my regular doctor and we were finally able to set the date: Baby Mostek is scheduled to arrive on December 11. For those wondering, yes, I did ask about 12-12-12, but it was not to be. That would have been awfully helpful in remembering his birthday every year, but I guess now I'll just have to plug it in the ol' iPhone and hope for the best. 

Baby Mostek face

I also had a consultation with an anesthesiologist. It was actually a really informative little chat, though I came out of it hearing what I expected: we'll try the spinal and see if it works. If not, it'll be general anesthesia. She was able to explain to me how the process works and the main challenges, and somehow that knowledge makes things easier. Basically all spinals are done by touch. They find the separation in a specific space between certain vertebrae and aim for that space. Most people are able to bend forward and create a larger separation space between those vertebrae--something that I can't do because of the rods. The rods run on both sides of my spine at that point, along with some fused bone in that space making the margin for error much smaller. This information doesn't change the outcome, but at least I know that I've done my homework. It sounds like a high possibility I'll have to be "poked" a few times before finding the spot, but I can deal with that. It would be very difficult for any doctor, so I respect that they are willing to try. In the end, both baby and I are looking healthy so these are manageable obstacles.

In much more fun news, this past weekend both of my college roommates were in town. We've always been very in sync with each other--to an almost freakish degree. It's kind of fantastic, and I love these girls like sisters. How long has it been since we all met? 14 years? That's right...14 years since our first band camp. We met in marching band at Iowa State, and all my favorite memories from college involve them. And now we're all pregnant together! I was the last to join the baby bandwagon (to no one's surprise). They're on their second pregnancy while I'm finishing my first. I think Nick hung in there like a champ for putting up with the three of us, and a huge shout out to Bob and Aaron for staying at home with the kiddos while their pregnant wives partied all weekend. Partied with Ben and Jerry, no less. And shopped for cute pregnancy clothes that wouldn't betray us in the later months as the belly grows. I'm way past cute pregnancy clothes now. I just hope for full coverage at this point.

As an homage to a photo we took before a band duct tape party, we recreated the pose. It was much more difficult this time around, but we figured it out eventually. Miss you both already!

Jes, Kristen and April: We still got it.

And the Countdown Begins

32 weeks! Looking back, the time seems like it's going quickly, but in the moment it feels like, "Are we there yet?"

A couple weeks ago we had a little baby shower/end-of-the-softball-season picnic. We enjoyed a day outside with friends and a barbecue. It's pretty much my favorite kind of day. I'm truly glad my friends indulged my wish for a more laid-back style shower. Being the center of attention is okay sometimes, but I get pretty uncomfortable when a whole event is planned around me. This way we were able to have guys and gals show up, and bring friends, family and pets for a day in the park. I didn't get a chance to hustle anyone with my mad cornhole skillz, but I'll have to save it for another day. Note: It's a lawn game, people. It just has a hilarious name. Sometimes people call it "bean bag toss," but those people would be wrong.  In any case, I have to thank our good friends John and Jenn who really made the party come together. You guys are the best!

Nick's favorite gift

The weekend before Halloween was pretty eventful! On Friday night, Nick played in the last softball game of the season. We've both played with the Ninjas for several seasons, and always ending up in second place. This year we won the championship! It was awesome to see Nick win with all our friends, but a little bittersweet that they did it the one season I didn't play. Nevertheless, the win was well deserved, and worth the absolutely hideous rubber-chicken t-shirts.

After the game, Nick and I went to a Halloween party. Conveniently, Nick was already dressed in his costume: a softball player. What was I? One giant softball. And I pulled it off convincingly. The party had a photo booth so Nick and I finally have a few photos that we're actually together. I swear, by our photo collection, you'd think we show up and leave events separately. I don't even know that we have adequate record that we travel together.

In baby news, we took our baby care classes over the past couple weekends. I admit, at first I was pretty disinterested in the infant care class for myself but figured we might as well see how it goes. I haven't really been seeking out tons of information on child care or reading all the books about all the new methods for behavior. I was surprised to find that the class was really helpful. I mean, changing a diaper isn't rocket science, but I was interested in hearing from the other couples. Nick was great, and I think it did help to ease the initial discomfort of dealing with an infant. The next weekend we had the birthing class which was (most likely) non-relevant information for us this time around. They covered some information about c-sections, so it wasn't a total bust.


We've also made a lot of nursery progress. Our friend (and decorator extraordinaire) Bea came over to help make sense of the space. We have a few key pieces, but so far it was just a room and some possible ideas. She was amazing at seeing what made sense and how to make the room cute and functional. I love that. I wish I had that design skill, but I am so grateful that she was willing to come and hang with me for an afternoon figuring it all out. We moved everything into the room from various places throughout the house (I call them "staging areas" rather than "disaster zones") so now baby Mostek actually has a room with all of his stuff. And we have the rest of our house back! Our furniture is white, and we can't paint the walls since we're still renting, so we're just adding color with bright and bold baby stuff. I really love it!

I'm starting to feel a bit closer to ready. I'm definitely anxious and excited to meet him, but still the overall "raising a child" idea is daunting. One day at a time, right? That's what I'm going with for now. I've been feeling pretty good overall, but the third trimester discomfort has definitely set in. I've had a few appointments and all looks on track, but still taking it VERY carefully so the placenta doesn't become an issue. I have one more ultrasound next Thursday to confirm the need for a c-section.

I'm hoping to meet with an anesthesiologist about my scoliosis next week as well. What I'm finding out from my research so far is that they really can't tell me definitively whether the epidural will work or not. I'll just have to try it and find out if I have "pockets" of feeling left in my abdomen. If so (meaning the epidural didn't fully take) I'll have to go under general anesthesia. So, it sounds like my ultimate answer is probably going to be "wait and see." My favorite. But if that's the answer, then I can deal with it and move on knowing I've been as proactive as I can be.

The next few weeks are so busy, both with baby stuff and just overall holiday festivities. He will probably be here in 4-5 weeks...holy moly.

29.5 week ultrasound

Here he is (again)! He's definitely a lot bigger than last time, but I think his ultrasound pics look very much the same. He measured about 3 lbs. 10 oz. I think it was nap time, so no big performances, but it's always fun to get to see him. Still placenta previa, so the early December birthday is looking much more likely. The doctors still want to monitor my progress, so I have another ultrasound scheduled in 4 weeks. Getting so close now...

28-29 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

Well, here we are starting the third trimester. It's been a very busy couple weeks for Nick and I, so nursery progress has been put on temporary hold. Nick was in Paris last week for a work conference.  As exciting as that sounds, I don't think it was much of a vacation-type trip. He was able to spend a little time sightseeing, but it sounds like most of his time was consumed by work obligations. Personally I'd like to complete some of my work obligations in Paris, but generally speaking, graphic designers don't need to travel often. I blame the internets.

While he was away, I had a lot of time to get some work done myself. I took on quite a few freelance projects within the past couple months which could be viewed as perfect timing or really bad timing. The extra cash flow is lovely, but I admit my schedule has been approaching Crazy Town. Nevertheless, I think I've cleared that pile of work (only to be replaced by a new pile). It's just how I operate. I need to practice the word, "no." Kids fix that for you, right?

Baby is still incredibly active these days, and Nick has decided that he's training to become a fighter pilot (due to the comfort level he has with tumbling and flipping). I have two uncles that would be so proud, though I think we're counting some chickens here.

I had a doctor appointment last week and my next ultrasound is this week. The doctor's appointment was just routine. I had a lot of questions about the possibility of a c-section, and also wanted to broach the subject of my scoliosis. Since my original intention was always to have a natural birth (if possible), I hadn't really considered the complications with receiving an epidural. I always knew this could be a complicated process, but hadn't really done the research just yet. It's too early to speak definitively, but I've learned I may have to prepare myself for the possibility of general anesthesia for my c-section. This basically means that I'd have to be completely out for the birth. General anesthesia also affects the baby much more than the spinal or epidural, which means he will be under the effects of the anesthesia as well when he's born. I'm really bothered by this possibility, but unfortunately it's a situation I can't control. Nick is much more of a "cross that bridge when we get there" guy, but I'm not feeling very patient about this. I'm hoping if I'm a little proactive, I can possibly meet with the anesthesiologist early to find out whether they've dealt with a scoliosis surgery patient, and maybe get my old x-rays for them to review.

In any case, I have my next ultrasound this week to see if I'm still placenta previa. If yes, I may have one more check-up ultrasound before the doctors formally diagnose me as a placenta previa c-section candidate.

Whew! So many "ifs" right now, and I'm grateful that in the long run, baby and I are still perfectly healthy. It's really just the disappointment of possibly missing his first moments and that he'll also be under anesthesia when he's born that really bothers me.

More fuzzy ultrasound pics to come...stay tuned. :)

Ultrasound and Nursery

I'm now finishing my last week of the second trimester (27th week) and gearing up for the big finish. After my ultrasound at 25 weeks, I've been pretty motivated to get this party started (well get everything READY to get this party started). From my earlier 20-week ultrasound, they diagnosed me with placenta previa with a chance it would resolve itself within the next few weeks. As it turns out, that crazy placenta is fairly stubborn and is still covering the cervix. What does that mean? Well, for now it just means I'm not allowed to do much. I've been taking it easy since about 20 weeks, but now that Baby is a bit bigger (he's about 2.5 lbs.), I have to be really careful about my daily activities. I feel really good which makes it hard to take it easy, but the other extreme is bedrest. Um, how about no.

In the long term, placenta previa means a C-section birth. I'm slowly wrapping my head around that idea. I'm actually not really afraid of surgery, or the healing process. It's really more about the fact that it would be scheduled 2-3 weeks before my due date. Let me tell you, the difference between a December 30th baby and a December 12th-ish baby is huge when you haven't done much to get anything ready. Cripes! That's right around the corner! So, I've begun the nesting process. I don't feel like I'm really "nesting" in that sweet mom sense I've seen on tv. It feels more like "get $h!t done mode." (Sorry for the necessary profanity, Mom).

Aside from that, things are going well. All reports of baby health are great, and placenta previa poses no harm to the baby. The C-section is not a done deal just yet. I have another ultrasound in a couple weeks to see if it corrects itself. I'm not really feeling like that's probable at this point, but it is a possibility. In any case, Nick is excited about that tax break looking like a done deal for this year. :)

The main highlights of progress are:

1) Getting registered. We registered online, located here. Registering is a huge undertaking of overwhelming possibilities, and I'm glad we can check it off the to-do list.

2) Acquiring a few key components for the nursery. Nick put together a dresser this weekend, we have a crib, and I sorted all of the clothes and various items we've received so far into various age-appropriate totes. I doubt I'll be able to keep up this level of organization, but it can't hurt to start out that way.

3) Choosing a daycare. It ended up being the first one we visited, but I think we both feel good about it.

I'll have a few more photos to post in a few days. Thanks for reading!